I kept changing my position on the bed all night, but I couldn’t sleep. I was thinking that now I will be transferred and I will stay with my husband. If we both stay together, we can have sex whenever we wish. The next morning, I got ready and reached the office at the time given by him. But as soon as I reached there, I came to know that the Secretary had to go out for an urgent meeting. The staff said, “Madam, you will be called and given another appointment.” My heart was completely broken. I thought, never mind, next time. Anyway, this is government work, so it happens. Then, after some 10-12 days, I got another call. I tried to reach there by adjusting my schedule. But even that day, I could not meet the secretary. When I asked the receptionist, she just said, “Sir is not well, he did not come to the office today.”Now I was so angry that there was no limit to it. I felt like shouting at the top of my lungs, saying that my life is getting ruined, and you people are playing with appointments. But I thought that if I get angry at the officer who could have helped me, then my one last hope will also end. Just like this, after a month, I got a call again. This time, I had decided that whatever happens, I will definitely meet the Secretary, Sir, today. Since morning, there has been a strange feeling in my heart, but along with it, there has been a new hope.That day I wore a soft grey cotton saree with a zig-zag design of pastel green and pink border. The blouse was black in colour, with a small, deep cut that highlighted my cleavage. I had set the pallu of the saree neatly on my shoulder, and the saree was tied tightly. It was highlighting the natural curve of my boobs and ass. That delicate part of my waist and my raised ass, along with a slight cleavage, was pulling everyone’s attention. My hair was tied loosely, which was making my neck even longer and sexier.I went to the secretariat and passed through the corridor. I felt that the eyes of every person coming and going were fixed on me for a moment. Some people even looked at me repeatedly. Some were looking at me as if they were seeing a lady for the first time. At that time, I felt that it was not right to come to such a place alone. It would have been better if I had brought my husband along. As soon as I reached the reception, I was told, “Madam, Sir is busy in a meeting right now. But he has especially said that no matter how much time it takes today, he will be with you.” Hearing this, my heart started beating fast. The hope that was getting shattered again and again, today it seemed that perhaps it would be fulfilled. After waiting for almost an hour, I was called inside the cabin.Sir seemed different today than before. Confident, a little relaxed and a strange feeling of control in the eyes. He welcomed me with a smile and started talking straight away, “Teacher, there is a chance of your transfer. That is why I have called you.” I could not understand immediately, and spoke hesitantly, “Chance? I didn’t quite get you, Sir.” He got up from the table and came near me. He kept both his hands on the table and bowed down as if to make his point stronger. He said softly, “Look, Madam, I have already read three applications at the place where you want to transfer. But I understand your problem. I feel you should get the transfer.”My heart felt a little relieved. There was happiness in my eyes. I immediately said, “Thank you, Sir, you have given me hope.” But the next moment, his voice became a little heavier, “Madam ji, life doesn’t work that way. To get something, you have to give up something.” The hidden meaning in his words became clear from his eyes. Now his eyes were repeatedly focusing on my cleavage visible through my blouse. I understood from inside which direction the conversation was going. Still, I gathered courage and asked him directly, “Sir, what do you want to say?”He bent a little closer and said with a light smile, “All these things cannot be discussed here right now. You see, there are audio recording cameras installed everywhere here. I cannot say anything directly even if I want to.” I understood everything from his tone and look. He raised his hand to signal and said calmly, “Madam, please wait outside for a while. I will call you.” While I was waiting outside, it was getting dark. Slowly, the whole building was getting empty. The staff and other people were also gradually reducing. As the number of people was reducing, my restlessness was also increasing.A single question was going around in my heart again and again: “Secretary, Sir, what are you going to tell me?” Around 5 o’clock, when the lobby was completely quiet, he came to me. He just made a small gesture, and I followed him into a corner of the lobby, cowering in fear. There was no one there now. Some cleaning workers were working, and they were also very far away. He coughed slightly and started talking, “Look, Teacher, I have sent your transfer file to the top. I have ensured it.” Hearing this, my breathing became fast. My face lit up, and I immediately said, “Thank you so much. You have solved all my problems.”Seeing the happiness on my face, he raised his hand and stopped me and said, “Madam ji, one minute. Please listen to me completely.” My heart stopped for a moment. I composed myself and said, “Now, what happened, Sir?” He said a little slowly, as if he was weighing every word before speaking, “You must know that nothing is available for free in our country.” The double meaning in his tone hit my heart hard. I remained silent for a moment, then, gathering courage, I looked into my eyes and said, “Sir, I have understood what you want to say.” A light smile came on his face. He bowed a little and said, “Tell me what I want to say?” I lowered my head and said softly, “That I have to pay a bribe for this.”I said this directly because someone had told me that government work cannot be done without money. And for a transfer order, a bribe has to be given. My husband and father also told me not to worry; if money has to be paid for the transfer, they will do so. Hearing my words, he became stunned as if he had laughed at my thought. He said, “Oh, madam ji, if it were a bribe, I would not have called those other two people.” This answer of his changed my whole image. Now I realise that it was not just about money. His eyes wanted something else. I was left breathless. In a moment, I realised that it was not just about money. There was something else in his gaze. Something difficult to put into words. I asked him directly, “Then, Sir, what do you want from me?”He looked at me slowly, as if he was weighing every word and saying, “Look, teacher, I can understand. You are so worried. You just got married, life had just begun, and you have to stay away from your husband. I also stay away from my family. I understand your pain.” The meaning of his words touched my heart. I kept listening to him quietly. Then he bent a little closer and said slowly, “If I understand your pain, then you also understand my pain.” My eyes opened. I asked a little, “What can I do for you, Sir?” And then those words, which entered my ears like poison, “Teacher, just once… let me have one night with you.”My heart started pounding. I looked at him angrily and said in a trembling voice, “How dare you say such a bad thing? I have never had such bad days when I was with you, shit! I feel ashamed even to say it.” He just laughed coldly and said, “As you wish, Madam. Stay the way you are.” It felt as if the ground vanished beneath my feet. My eyes filled with tears. I quietly turned over and walked out of the secretariat with a heavy heart. Then I was the only woman who was leaving the place, wiping her tears while saving her dignity. For a moment, I thought of complaining to the Secretary. But immediately, a thought came to my mind. “What good will it do? The dirt will still smear my dignity, and people will choose to blame me.”I knew who could explain to the people who make up stories? Even if I tell the truth, people will still think the same; it is the woman who is wrong. With each passing month, the burden on my shoulders became heavier. Some people from my in-laws’ side did not stop taunting me, “Why is she doing a job? Take care of the household. An educated daughter-in-law, yet you are ruining your husband’s life.” Slowly, these things started affecting my husband as well. Earlier, he used always to support me, but now there was a strange feeling inside him as well. On weekends, when we finally met, there was less love and more tension. Those small fights that neither of us wanted but could not stop.Earlier, when we used to meet, he used to fuck me very well. But sometimes, due to being tense, we did not have sex. My pussy also started being thirsty. I understood his helplessness. Any man gets frustrated when he has such a beautiful wife, yet he has to stay away from her. There was still a desire in his eyes, a hunger which I wanted to fulfil, but was not able to do so. I knew that as much as I was yearning to get fucked, he was also yearning to fuck me. His erect dick did not let him sleep at night. The distance between us, the rumours whispering in our ears, and the increasing tension were eating away at both of us from inside. And rumours started spreading about me. “It seems Payal is having an affair with someone, which is why she is refusing to leave her job.”My blood boiled on hearing these accusations, but I couldn’t say anything. I knew that if I opened my mouth once, the matter would escalate. But one thing was certain: I did not want to leave this job under any circumstances. My identity, my dignity, and my self-respect were linked to this job. And I had worked very hard for it. Now the situation had reached such a stage that my relatives had given up the hope of my transfer and stopped trying. My husband and I were trying, but it was as if every door was closed. I tried to identify him a lot, but everywhere I got the same answer: “You should talk to Malhotra ji; he is the one who can get the job done.” Malhotra. I started getting angry as soon as I heard his name. He was the same idiot who had already kept me captive for a night. That smile on his face, those things, when I remembered them all, I felt like catching him and beating him.But the reality was that every way was leading me to him as if my destiny wanted to push me and make me stand in front of him. Once I spoke to my husband on the phone. He said in a little anger, “Payal, you think for yourself. We tried everywhere. Malhotra’s name is coming up everywhere. If the work has to be done by him anyway, then you will have to talk. If your post remains stuck like this, then people will keep making up stories. And I will not be able to tolerate it anymore.” Hearing his words, I became completely silent. How did he know what Malhotra was forcing me to do? I kept thinking all night long. My job was my identity; my husband’s love was my life. And the way to save both ended at the door of the same secretary. I thought again, “I had already fucked my boyfriend before marriage, so what difference does it make if I fuck Malhotra for one night? My husband won’t lose anything in that one night, and my world isn’t going to stop either.” But immediately another voice came from me, “But Payal, you thought that after marriage, only your husband would be everything to you, then this infidelity? You will get fucked someone for the job.” On one side, the duty and shame of a wife, on the other side, the hidden desire and helplessness of a woman.